Flight
by BlackDread
Summary: Since no one's got anything to do, the gang goes with Cid to the north to get his sticks. R for language content. Chapter 3 up.
1. I dunno, what do you want to do today?

My first not-so-serious fic. Why? Because it's full of cussing, and humor that doesn't really make any sense. Now on to the story...Oh, yeah! I might write myself in... just to interact with the characters, and annoy you by speaking in Tagalog. Have a nice read.  
  
Chapter Uno  
  
As I begin the fic, we see our heroes inside the house that Cloud bought in Costa Del Sol, apparently doing nothing besides being bored.  
  
Barret: 'What d' you wan' t' d' t'day?'  
  
Cid: *pops in a cigarette and lights it* 'I dunno. What do you want to do today?'  
  
Cloud: 'I dunno. What do you want to do today?'  
  
Vincent: 'I dunno. What do you want to do today?'  
  
Red XIII: 'I dunno. What do you want to do today?'  
  
Tifa: 'I dunno. What do you want to do today?'  
  
Aeris: 'I dunno. What do you want to do today?'  
  
Cloud: 'I thought you're dead.'  
  
Aeris: 'What? And to be in the lifestream with a psycho who wanted to dump shit on the world?'  
  
Cloud: 'Good point. Forget I asked.'  
  
Barret: 'Why don' we go t' the bar and hav' a few drinks?'  
  
Vincent: 'You just went there yesterday.'  
  
Barret: 'So?'  
  
Tifa: 'So...that means we don't have money, you good-for-nuthin' idiot!'  
  
Barret: 'Oh, yeah, I forgot, ehehehe...'  
  
*Everybody lets out a big sigh*  
  
Suddenly, by my will since I'm the author, Sephiroth appears in spirit from, ala Ben Kenobi.  
  
Sephiroth: 'So, this is what happens to the shitty heroes after they vanquish me to my death...What kinda pathetic losers are you?!?!'  
  
Everybody in unison: 'The fuck you doin here, asshole?!?!?!?!'  
  
Sephi: 'Well, the almighty author wants me here, so there!'  
  
Aeris: 'And I thought I'll have a nice getaway...'  
  
Sephi: 'Sorry, babe, hehe.'  
  
Cid: 'Watever... *spits his 'rette and looks into his pack to find it empty* Ah, fuck! I'm all out!  
  
Everybody in unison: 'So?'  
  
Cid: 'I need to fucking smoke. I'm going to Icicle Inn to buy, who's comin'?  
  
Cloud: 'Why d'you need to go all the way north?'  
  
Cid: ''Cause they got the best sticks. So who's coming?'  
  
Tifa: 'We all might as well go, since we've got nothing to do anyways.'  
  
Everybody in unison: 'Sure, whatever.'  
  
Aeris: *looks at Sephi* 'How 'bout you, ghoul?'  
  
Sephi: 'Guess I'll tag along. And don't call me ghoul, ya bitch.'  
  
Cloud: 'That's settled. Let's go!!'  
  
Tifa: 'Quit acting like kid.'  
  
Cloud: 'DON' TELL ME WHAT TO DO, WOMAN!!!!'  
  
Tifa: 'Are going to shut your hole, or am I going to have to do it for you???'  
  
Cloud: 'Yes ma'am.'  
  
End of Chapter  
  
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy 7 belongs to Squaresoft and is no property of mine.  
  
Okay, review people.  
  
Any typo, misspellings, etc. you can email me at: louie_r73@yahoo.com  
  
Thanks!!! 


	2. Godly power of me

Chapter Dos  
  
When the gang, Sephiroth included since I brought him up, went outside of the house, they saw the people of Costa Del Sol running around, screaming in terror.  
  
Cid: 'The fuck-?!'  
  
Barret: 'Looks like we ain't the only ones leaving town today.'  
  
Aeris: 'Something hell's going on...'  
  
Sephiroth: 'Up there.' *points toward to the sea*  
  
Everybody looks up to where the ghoul is pointing and spots the Highwind flying around in wide circles at high speed with an enlarged Hades riding on top, who is throwing the contents of his cauldron at random directions, poisoning the sea and it's inhabitants.  
  
Hades: 'I AM HADES, LORD OF THE UNDERWORLD, I WILL POLLUTE THIS SEA WITH THE POISONS OF THE DEAD BECAUSE THE AUTHOR TOLD ME TO!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Cid: 'Shit!!!! That's our fuckin' ride!!!!  
  
Cloud: 'Uh...Cid, who'd you left with the crew???'  
  
Cid: 'Yuffie, why???...OH-MY-GODDAMN-SHIT!!!!!  
  
Red XIII: 'Aw, you poor, simple-minded, fucker...'  
  
Author: *suddenly appears* 'That's alright. Valentine'll take care of her.'  
  
Vincent: *suddenly pops his head from his useless daydreaming* 'What?! Why me?!?!'  
  
Author: ''Cause I sez so. Now turn to your flying freak thing, and get your ass up there!'  
  
Vincent: 'But, you were the one who set him loose, so why don't you do it?!?!'  
  
Author: *shouting in Tagalog* 'PUTANG INA MO, GAGO!!!!!! BASTA GAWIN MO NA LANG, TARANTADONG BADING!!!!!'  
  
Everyone: *stares at the author because they have no clue of what he just said* '.........'  
  
Author: *looks at Vincent* 'Want me to translate?'  
  
Vincent: *immediately turns into Chaos and flys towards the Highwind* 'I'm gone!!'  
  
Author: 'Now get your asses moving.'  
  
Cid: '...But what about our ride?'  
  
Author: 'Then you'll just have to rough it.'  
  
Barret: 'But, we can't just walk all the way up north!!'  
  
Author: 'Don't worry. Because of my godly power as the author, I placed a couple of Bronco replicas over at Rocket Town.'  
  
Tifa: 'Can't you just zap 'em right here??'  
  
Author: 'Because, you sexy heap of meat, that'll make it easier for you, which is no fun at all.'  
  
Aeris: 'No fair!! That ghoul over there won't have a hard time!!!'  
  
Sephi: 'Hehe...daz right!!'  
  
The author snaps his fingers and Sephi materializes into solid flesh.  
  
Sephi: 'The hell?! I'm alive?! Shit!!'  
  
Author: 'Fair enough??'  
  
Aeris: 'Yeah, that'll do.'  
  
Sephi: 'Aw, man...'  
  
Cloud: 'Hey, maybe you can make girls' clothes disappear!!'  
  
Author: 'I'll do it in another chapter. I'm off!' *disappears*  
  
Cloud: 'No!! Come back!! I want to see NOW!!! Sheesh, what a rip off!!'  
  
The gang then moves on, with Sephi still sulking over his sudden reincarnation.  
  
End of Chapter  
  
Second chap done, more to go.  
  
As for the translation to what I said earlier, forget it. 


	3. Do not imitate Peter Pan

Ok, so I apologize for putting myself as an annoying godly author in the last chapter. But, I liked it, so there. Oh, yeah, maybe some of you(who even bothers to read this fic), might think that I hate Vincent for what I did to him...well, no, I don't. He kicks ass, but I don't know how to make him comedic...so there.  
  
Chapter Tres  
  
When we left the gang, they were headed to Rocket Town by land, with Sephi still pissed off because he was given life. Well, here they are on the road to North Corel, their first stop.  
  
Sephi: *mumbling and cursing to himself* 'Given life just so I can walk with these fuckers. Just to get a measly pack of sticks. And, and, and waitaminute! I'm Sephiroth, the super cool bad guy with a big-ass sword and freaky world-destruction magic!!!  
  
Red XIII: 'You really aren't going to shut up??'  
  
Sephi: 'I don't need to walk!!!' *begins to levitate*  
  
Aeris: 'Hey, look!!' *points to Sephi* 'He can fly!!'  
  
Everybody: *looks at Sephi who is now five feet from the ground*  
  
Cloud: 'He can fly??'  
  
Tifa: 'He can fly!!'  
  
Cid: 'He can fly!!'  
  
Barret: 'He can fly!!!'  
  
Sephi: 'I can fly!!!!' *flies to the sky* 'Whee!!! So long, fuckers!!!'  
  
As the gang watch the bad guy fly into the mountains surrounding North Corel, they hear a loud sound which resembles a person snapping his fingers.  
  
Sephi: 'I can-' *he begins to quickly lose altitude* 'The hell...Oh, Mom, help me-'  
  
The others watch him drop like a rock into the old Mako Reactor several miles away.  
  
Cloud: 'The author?'  
  
Red XIII: 'Most probably.'  
  
Cid: 'Serves him right for trying to be Peter Pan. Let's move it!!'  
  
And so, everybody proceeds to leave the mountains and heads toward North Corel, picking up Sephi by the way.  
  
End of Chapter  
  
Quite short this time, but who cares!!! I'm not feeling hyper today... 


End file.
